


Iz Birthday

by DeadHooligan



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Birthday Party, Crack, Cussing, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadHooligan/pseuds/DeadHooligan
Summary: Well, well, well, it appears that today is Rock's Birthday. You know what that means.





	Iz Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> Yea, I know his whole Birthday was yesterday, but shut up. I'm publishing this now oaidjosaipsujdp

Pit crept out of the bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him. His hands shook a little as he slowly closed the door and took a step forward. He made sure he didn't make a single noise as he left the room, and he made sure the door was fully close. When he was sure the door was closed, the angel turned around. Pit looked in front of him, seeing Red there.

"Is everyone there?" Pit asked.

"Yep, but they're all dysfunctional as usual," Red answered.

"And I thought I was supposed to be the dysfunctional gay here," he replied, sighing.

"We're all gay, Pit. You're gay. I'm gay. MegaMan's gay. Sonic's gay. All the Inklings are gay. We all are, and we're also disasters and dysfunctional. No one can function in his damn place."

"You do have a point there, Red. Well, anyways, what's going wrong?"

Red sighed, "Just come look for yourself. I can't even explain it."

Pit nodded. Red silently but quickly walked off, and Pit followed behind him. The two walked downstairs into the empty kitchen and dining room. Pit stared in shock at what he saw. The large table in the dining room and everything around it was a huge mess. Everyone was arguing loudly and crowding around each other.

"I'm just saying that this is Rock's Birthday. We should throw rocks at him to celebrate!" Ness exclaimed.

"No, we can't do that this year! We have to wait until he's a real man," Inkling Girl pointed out.

"Are you implying that MegaMAN isn't a MAN?" Ness questioned.

"Uhhh, yEAH," responded Inking Girl.

"I just wanna play Just Dance," Sonic said in the background.

"See?" Red said, turning to look at Pit.

"What in tarnation?!" Pit shouted angrily. Everyone went silent as they heard Pit's shout. "Oh wow, I didn't think that would actually get your attention," chuckled Pit.

Pit continued, "Well, anyways, I need you all to function despite you all being big disaster energy. Rock's gonna wake up any moment now, and this whole place is looking to look like a big gay mess. You need to fix it stat!" 

Inkling Girl questioned, "Are we going to throw rocks at Rock?"

"No, we only do that for Villager's Birthday," Pit said.

"Aww," Inkling Girl replied, but she said nothing more than that.

Everyone was quick to get everything ready. Inkling Girl and Red worked on all the arsty stuff. Sonic was the one picking some song to play because he was once a DJ or some shit like that. Pit and Ness then worked on cleaning everyone's mess up. While everything was ready, Pit wanted to have some good aesthetic to the surrounding. He really liked aesthetics, so he had to project his need for that on everything else around him. Soon, everyone was done, and everything was all set.

Pit, Sonic, and Inkling Girl and crept upstairs. Pit slowly opened the door. All three of them peaked in, seeing Rock asleep on Pit's bed. While Rock had his own room, he preferred to sleep with Pit, saying his bed was much more comfortable. Pit didn't complain. He liked Rock's presence near him. It was nice. Rock laid under the covers of the bed, his arms being stretched out as if he was trying to reach for Pit.

"God damn, how'd you get Rock to sleep like this the whole time? He's a robot. Doesn't he just turn off and on or some fuckery like that? I don't know. This whole robotics thing is inconsistent," Inkling Girl whispered to Pit.

"Oh, I know the special trick to things like this. I know how to make Rock this tired," he responded.

"And how's that?" asked Inkling Girl.

"Lots of Just Dance and monoplay. The combination gets you a Rock like this," Pit answered.

"You played Just Dance without me? Who won?" she gasped.

"I won," Sonic chuckled.

"Sonic's really good at Toxic," Pit commented.

"Hell yeah I am," whispered back Sonic.

"Enough of this discussion. I'm going to get Rock now. You two wait here. I'll call you in if I have to," Pit told them. The two nodded as they backed up. Pit entered the room.

Pit walked up close to his bed, seeing the top of Rock's head. He looked down, watching him. While he did want to wake up Rock, Pit felt bad thinking about it for some reason. Pit sighed as he lifted up the sheets a little. The angel slid into the bed, laying next to Rock's side. Pit stayed like that before he decided to his turn on his side. He stretched out his arms, before he quickly wrapped them around Rock in an embrace. Rock's eyes lit up as he screeched.

"Mr. ObaMA, NO!" 

"Wait, robots dream about that too?" Pit could hear Sonic whisper to Inkling Girl.

"Uhhh, it's just me," Pit told Rock, confused.

"oH," Rock said back, deadpan. He then snapped back to normal, smiling. "Well, anyways, it's good to see you're awake."

"Yep, still not in a coma," Pit answered back, laughing. He held Rock tighter in his embrace.

Rock started to drag himself up. He also started to wrap his arms around Pit. "Good."

"Uh, anyways, I have something to show you. Come on, let's go," Pit told him. Rock nodded as Pit let go of him and hopped off the bed. Rock followed behind. Pit could hear Sonic and Inkling Girl both running back downstairs which was good for him.

The two walked downstairs. Pit kept Rock at his side as they went down the stairs. The two soon made their way into the kitchen. As Rock stepped in, everyone attempted to get out from under the table, but they saw that they were stuck, so everyone slowly pushed themselves out as the Space Jam theme song loudly played in the background.

"Oh wowza, someone actually remembered today was my Birthday!" Rock gasped.

"Wait, did someone else forget your Birthday?" the angel questioned.

He responded, "My dad, but enough about my issues. I can't believe you remembered!" 

"He shouted at us to get up because he said it was an important holiday," Ness muttered.

"I never sleep, so that's fine with me. Sleep is for the weak," Inkling Girl added.

"But why is the Space Jam theme playing?" asked Rock.

"I thought you were the one who liked the Space Jam theme," Sonic replied.

"No, that's Bowser Jr. I like Take Me Home, Country Roads. There's a different I hope you know," corrected Rock.

"Basic bitch," Red commented under his breath.

"Well, you're stuck with the Space Jam theme now," Sonic said.

"Fair enough," the robot remarked.

"Anywhoozles," Pit said, jumping in. "This shit already took long enough to sit up. Enjoy it, or else I will cry."

Everyone sat down around the table with Pit sitting directly next to Rock. Everyone just sat where ever they wanted to since it didn't really matter. They weren't even enough people to fill up all the chairs. There was about ten empty ones scattered around the dining table though, but it didn't matter to anyone who actually showed up.

"Uhh, we can't really afford a lot of stuff since we're all broke ever since Ness's dad stopped answering his calls, so we sort of just made due with what he had," Pit explained to Rock.

"Yeet!" Ness shouted as he was about to slide a plate across the table, but he was interrupted.

"Don't say yeet when you're doing something like that. Yeet means you're throwing something without care. I would know. I looked up the definition on Urban Dictionary," Red informed.

"Oh, alright. Kobe!" Ness corrected himself as he slid the plate across. Pit stopped the plate as soon as it came near him. On the plate, there was one croissant covered in skittles and broken up crackers. A thin but long firework as shoved into the top of the croissant. The whole thing was covered in gasoline. Pit placed the plate in front of Rock.

"Wait, I thought fireworks were illegal here," Rock pointed out.

"I know a guy who knows a guy," Ness responded.

"And I'm that first guy. I know a lot of people, and they all make me want to cry," Sonic added.

"I'm just... going to save this for... later," Rock said as he pushed the plate away from him. "Is there anything else?"

"Shouldn't we light the fire- I mean- candle first?" Inkling Girl suggested.

"Wait, don't do th-" Rock tried to say.

"Oh, yeah! We should do that," Pit exclaimed.

"No, wait-" Rock tried to speak again.

"Sonic, get the lighter!" Ness shouted.

"You can't-" Rock shouted, but was drowned out.

Sonic whipped out the lighter as he started to sing, "HapPY BIRthDAY tO YOu!" Red laughed as Sonic sang.

"DO NOT LAUGH WHILE I SING HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Sonic screeched as he leaned across the table, starting to light the firework in the croissant.

"That's not a candle-" 

Large colorful sparks started to come from inside the croissant. Everyone saw this was a horrible mistake as Sonic yeeted the lighter away. They all threw themselves under the table as the sparks started to burst out of it. As they got under the table, a large boom was heard from above. The table could be felt shaking from above.

"I don't know what you expected to happen, but okay," Rock commented.

"Happy Birth!" Ness and Inkling Girl both exclaimed.

"Well, maybe the croissant survived. Let's see!" Pit commented as he got out from under the table. Everyone also got out from under, sitting back down in their chair,

Pit picked up the plate, seeing that it was broken into shards. The croissant was blown into smaller chunks, and they were all a dark shade of gray. The whole dining table was a mess from what Pit could see. "Rest in peace, croissant," Ness said.

"Uhhh, well, we do have something else," Pit told Rock.

"Does it involve fireworks?" Rock questioned, being very concerned now.

"Oh, no, we could only afford one firework," he answered. Inkling Girl was able to reach a nearby counter which had a gift wrapped on it. It wasn't good wrapping at all; it had too much tape and the gift paper wasn't neat. In fact, it looked as if two different wrapping papers were used to wrap it. Inkling Girl handed it over to Pit. "But we were able to get this for you," Pit said as he handed it to Rock.

Rock took the gift from Pit. He struggled to open to the gift with how much fucking tape was on it. Everyone watched, slightly glancing at each other as Rock attempted to pull off the tape. "I know it's bad and stuff-" Pit began.

"Yeah, this wrapping's bad," Rock answered as he started to yank on the wrapping paper.

"Red did it," Sonic blurred out.

"It's not my fault I can't wrap. Besides, I would rather spend my time doing other things... than wrapping," Red defensibly replied.

"I said I could do it, but nooo, you wanted to do it," Ness pointed out.

"Guys, shut the fuCK UP AND PAy attention to Rock please," shouted Pit. Everyone shut the hell their mouth.

At this point, Rock was done with this bullshit, so he was just very gently using a metal blade of his to cut through the tape and wrapping paper. When he got a big enough cut in the wrapping paper, Rock threw the metal blade behind him. He grabbed the sides of the cut, pulling it down. Wrapped in the paper, there was a box covered in tape.

"I don't know how to feel about this," Rock mumbled as he started to feel out another metal blade. He started to aggressively cut through the table.

"Jesus Christ, Rock, calm down. We get it. You don't like tape," said Ness.

The tape was soon weakened down once again. The metal blade was chucked behind Rock as he ripped all the tape off, throwing it to the side. Rock was finally able to open the box. He reached his hands into the box, expecting it to be an avocado or something like that. When he pulled out what was in the box, Rock gasped. In the box was a plushie of the small mouse from _Big Bear in the Blue House_. "It's who I kin!" Rock exclaimed.

"The small mouse from _Big Bear in the Blue House_?" Red questioned.

"Uhhhh, actually, to that small mouse has a name. And his name is Tutter," Rock answered, half-offended.

"Oh, cool! Someone else who kins someone from _Big Bear in the Blue House_! I kin the moon," Ness gasped.

Rock turned to look at Pit with a huge grin on his face. "Who's idea was this?" Rock asked.

"Actually, it was mine," Pit chuckled.

"I thought you didn't know I kinned Tutter!" Rock answered back.

"Well, I have my ways of knowing," he responded.

Rock leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Pit in an embrace. Pit did the same as he held Rock close to him. The angel leaned close to Rock. He whispered into Rock's ear, "Also, why the fuck do you look up Pit x Reader stories late at night?"

"Uhhhh-"

Palutena and Zelda watched in the distance. The two laughed as they watched and heard what was going on over at the dining table. Palutena turned to look over at Zelda. "This is a wonderful sight honestly. Look at them all, gathered here at 6 AM and possibly disturbing everyone!" Palutena giggled.

Zelda turned to look at Palutena as she replied, "Yeah, it's cute to be honest."

"It is! It's so great just to see two friends being close," the goddess added as she watched.

"For the last time, Pit and Rock aRE FUCKING GAY FOR EACH OTHER! Why must we always forget about gay rights? Jesus fucking Christ," Sonic shouted from the table, looking over at Palutena and Zelda in the distance.


End file.
